Final Days of Pregnancy on Bedrest at the Hospital (PAL Journal Entry: 36 Weeks + 5 Days)

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Final Days of Pregnancy on Bedrest at the Hospital (PAL Journal Entry: 36 Weeks + 5 Days)

on October 20, 2025October 10, 2025

9/10/17

Oh the joys of being tethered to a hospital bed wearing a compression machine to make sure my legs didn’t clot! But seriously, so thankful for having the best high risk doctor to help us have a healthy baby.

Thank goodness for Wifi & my phone! Being on bedrest at the hospital can feel isolating and so tedious, but I only felt safe there as complications arose.

This afternoon when Josh made it to visit me, Doctor Tabsh came in to check on us. We were both determined to convince him to let me stay so they could keep monitoring Jax 24/7. Doctor told us if it were up to him he’d let us stay the whole time, but the insurance wouldn’t want to pay the $3k per night if there was no medical necessity. Josh told him we’d pay it, our baby was worth it. We weren’t going to go home and worry every second if something could happen, especially since we live an hour away. Doctor T. checked the fluid level again and luckily it wasn’t too low, but low enough that he could allow us to stay.

He also talked to us about delivering after Jax was 37 weeks, which could be Tuesday or Wednesday. It would be term, though not full term, so there is a small chance he could need some NICU time, but we said we’d prefer that than to risk leaving him too long and something happening to the cord with the low fluid level.

We don’t know what happened to Owen, but he had no blood in his cord so that makes us nervous about anything to do with cord issues. So thankfully Dr. T. was sympathetic to our emotional distress and is going to hopefully deliver our baby for us soon. He said this baby is more important to him than to us even and we thanked him because we know he does really care and wants to help us have a healthy baby. Now it’s suddenly possible our baby will be here in two or three days! It’s so surreal, but I’m starting to feel a waive of relief and utter joy knowing there’s only a few more days before he’s going to be in our arms. So many people are praying for him and can’t wait to meet him too. We are so thankful and know what a blessing he is.

Very nervous parents looking tired from our bumpy PAL, but hopeful that our baby will be born soon.

9/11/17

Another twist. After spending all day in limbo my OB finally checked my amniotic fluid level and looks like it’s gone up again. Talk about a rollercoaster ride! So we’re still not sure when we will deliver or if we’ll have to wait until our original date. As anxious as the uncertainty make me, I am feeling happy and at peace knowing my womb continues to be a safe place for Jax to keep growing. Hoping for more answers tomorrow after they run some tests, but so far we are still here at the hospital waiting for this miracle baby to join us on the outside. Meanwhile I’ll try to focus on the positive and soak up the compliments from the nurses of how good our baby looks on the monitor.

Keep growing baby, mommy and daddy can wait as long as you need. We’ve already waited for what seems like forever, but we know you’re worth it!

That half smile is about all I can muster. The tension is high as I await our son’s birth unsure of the outcome after losing his brother in the final trimester

This was my last “diary” post before delivery, so the next time I share about PAL will be the birth story of our rainbow baby!

Fighting Anxiety Ridden Intense Nightmares As We Get Closer to Our Due Date (PAL Diary Entry: 36 Weeks + 2 Days)

on April 3, 2021November 6, 2021

9/7/17

A quick trip to find a dress to wear taking home our baby (thank God that came true this time). I also had my nails painted blue (I couldn’t reach them anymore so I got them done).

This week I dreamt about being pregnant for the first time. I was at the hospital and a doctor came in to see me, but couldn’t find my chart. I told her I wasn’t in my room. It seemed I had been there for a while and was just wandering around passing the time. Suddenly I felt like my water had broken and I told her to look at my stomach because you could see Jax’s little fist pushing out in my stomach and I said he must be ready to come out. He apparently had kicked so hard her broke my water. Next thing you know I was with my family lighting candles for the baby and they looked like day of the dead sugar skulls. The big one was for Owen and it was burning like a sparkler. I wanted to take a picture, but everyone kept blowing theirs out before I could. I kept relighting them and asked Karen to pray for the baby. She was complaining that she doesn’t usually pray aloud. I then tried to get us all together for a picture (it seemed like we were all sitting in a long van). Aunt Donna was in the back with Naomi and I asked her to sit on the side because she was holding a big bouquet of balloons that were blocking Naomi. Finally Josh came in but was in front of everyone and I was getting flustered and said ok sit down lower let’s get this picture so I can go have this baby now. Then I woke up!

I’ve been having anxiety over my water breaking and having to rush to the hospital to deliver before my c section so I imagine that’s what this dream was about. My night sleep has been very disrupted and difficult as I worry most at nights and wake up freaking out to check that Jax is still ok. I wake him up often to make sure. It’s so hard but I’m trying to trust and have faith that everything’s going to be ok. I’m keeping myself busy with any last minute errands I can do. Just praying the next 16 days fly by and we can hold our healthy little baby soon!

Does this delicious homemade vegan chocolate pie make my belly look big?? One of the few things that helped take my mind off my worries was good food. Thankfully Aunt Donna was game for learning new vegetarian recipes!

When Even Sleep Doesn’t Grant Me Rest From My Worst Fears (PAL Diary Entry: 36 Weeks)

on April 2, 2021November 6, 2021

9/6/17

Trying to get my mind off my worries for a bit, following someone’s tutorial for taking a silhouette photo of my bump with my phone.

Just woke up feeling like I was about to lose my plug or water was breaking. I was so freaked out. I hurried to the bathroom, but there was nothing coming out at all. I peed then laid down only to feel my stress level rising wondering if Jax was okay and trying to wake him up by gently squeezing my belly until he moved. Poor baby, he was surely asleep, but like a good boy woke up and gave me a few reassuring movements. I’m up like this every night, almost every hour or two. It’s horrible because I can’t handle the fear at night. During the day I can keep track of his movements and thus do not worry as much, but at night the minute I realize I’m asleep and I wake back up the dread strikes me again until I feel him move. I wish my doctor would deliver Jax now. I know he’s healthy and strong and I feel he’ll do just fine if he is delivered early, but I can’t say I feel confident he’ll be okay if we keep waiting for the c section date they gave us (9/23). Either I want him delivered ASAP or to be kept at the hospital to be monitored until they do. I just can’t keep carrying all this responsibility on my shoulders myself. It’s so scary because Owen was fine one moment and then he wasn’t, so I get so worried I may miss the moment when Jax may need to come out like his brother. I would hate to be kept in the hospital for a long time because then Naomi will miss me, but her dad and Aunt Donna are able to take care of her and I think we need this for my sanity and to keep Jax safe. I’m going to call tomorrow to try to see what the doctor will do for us. It’s just too much for me now and I’m sure it’s not healthy for Jax either to be constantly feeling my stress and be woken up all night. Praying he will be okay until we can deliver him. All I want is my healthy baby boy in my arms, alive and well.