Feeling like this bump is bigger than my other pregnancies at this point. A lot fuller higher up and pretty round. I feel lots of kicks mostly in the morning, after lunch and when I lay down at night. Jax is an active little boy. I love feeling him and seeing how he reacts to our voices.
The 24th week started off great as I was excited to be at the first viability milestone. We went to our OB apt. and then had an excruciatingly long ultrasound during which my OB was quiet, as usual, so I was praying so hard for God to please make Jax be perfect still as I gripped Josh’s hand. All these scary thoughts circling in my head made me feel like I was going to have a panic attack! I could feel my heart beating outside my chest. Thankfully at the end we asked if everything was still fine and our OB said Jax was ok. There was an area he was measuring over and over in the brain but he said that space was still within normal limits. I started to cry after, mostly from relief but also worry.
I asked if we could start the NST’s early to begin monitoring our baby’s heart. He said that we could if it would make me feel better and suggested 30 weeks, but I asked for 28, since we lost our son, Owen, at 32 and I wanted to have a little more reassurance that everything was okay with Jax.
The rest of the week was nice, getting dropped off at Naomi’s school to watch her graduate and having a relaxing Father’s Day weekend at home. I gave daddy a shirt that said Big Man and a Little Man onesie. I pray Jax and Josh get to wear them together some day. It’s been a bumpy ride and though we are still worried we have faith Jax will make it.
Josh and I were both saying how we just didn’t picture Owen coming home (such a strange premonition), but we do see Jax here. So hopefully this is God’s plan for us now and we can experience the joy of having our second son home with us. He is not a replacement for Owen, but we have been dreaming of the day we could give Naomi a living sibling to grow up with and both of us have been so eager to raise a son, it would be wonderful for all of us if this wish comes true this time.