Still My Son

Assembling an army to end preventable stillbirths

grief

PAL

6/13/17 Feeling like this bump is bigger than my other pregnancies at this point. A lot fuller higher up and pretty round. I feel lots of kicks mostly in the morning, after lunch and when I lay down at night….

PAL

6/6/17 First thing about this week is that I finally left the house (for something other than a doctor apt.) to go see Naomi’s classwork at her kindergarten Open House. I knew it was as important to her as it…

PAL

5/15/17 End of the 19th week! Officially half way there. Minus a few panic attacks here and there worrying over movement (or lack of), I did pretty well this week. Remember, Owen was always an active baby until the day…

PAL

5/6/17 We took a trip up North to visit my side of the family in San Jose. This was good because the business of all the kids together is a distraction from my worries. Though, as anyone who’s been pregnant…

PAL

4/26/17 Little Jax finally decided to give me a few good kicks this morning! I felt the little thumps while laying in bed before getting up. Daddy gave me his extra egg and toast with strawberry jelly, maybe Jax likes…

Loss Journey

Today I had to come in to an OB appointment I scheduled to look into some issues I’ve have with my period (truthfully since my first miscarriage, but none of my OB’s offered to help me find a cause until…

PAL

4/12/17 It’s strange being pregnant after loss in your second trimester of pregnancy. You no longer have that feeling of relief you did before when you felt you were in the “safe zone” because you made it past the first…

PAL

3/14/17 Feeling little flutters of movement since week 8 or 9 when I’m laying down, meditating or resting. Could it be our little sweet pea?? It’s a bit earlier than most people feel the movements, but it’s my 5th pregnancy…

PAL

8/8/17 As we get closer to passing 32 weeks and hopefully meeting our son Jax I think my grief for Owen has gotten stronger, mainly because I feel sad that he’s not here too but also because I am worried…

Loss Journey

Here she is again; That viscous, heartless bitch, grief. She has no care for what day it is. She storms in, flinging the door wide open whenever she damn well pleases and ruins everything; Holidays, anniversaries, special occasions are all…