Keep Growing Baby Boy! Another Week Closer To Meeting Our Rainbow (PAL Journal: 14 Weeks)

Jackson moved a lot in the womb, just like his big brother Owen. This didn’t ease my fears given that we lost Owen even after a normal, healthy pregnancy, but I tried to document every time we got to see Jax on the ultrasounds (though I was terrified and full of fear of getting bad news every single time we went in for one; such is the torture of PAL).

4/5/17

Feeling you move as I wait for our apt. Such a reassuring and miraculous feeling. I love you baby. I hope everything is okay. We’ll see you shortly. (Truly always trying to be positive and hopeful, though I was literally in tears by the time I got to hear his heartbeat every visit.)

4/9/17

I felt you move around tonight. Just a few slight rolls in the lower left side of my stomach as I watched a movie with your daddy before bedtime. It makes me so happy to feel your movements. I love you so much already baby boy!

Completed your rainbow baby set! I learned to crochet from my Abue (grandma) who always crocheted & knit items for all of the babies in the family. I haven’t tried knitting yet, but crocheting is definitely a good way for me to focus my mind on something other than what’s going on with our baby. Thankfully Pinterest & YouTube have lots of good tutorials to keep me occupied!
Daddy picked out this Jellycat calf for your first stuffy when we went out for breakfast. I thought it was perfect for you too, our little cowboy buckaroo! ? Your big sister also got a Jelly Cat stuffed animal for her first toy (a cute, scruffy dog that daddy found for her at the Grove while working at Extra).
Another pic of my growing belly taken by our sweet first daughter. Fresh out of the shower! Just wanted to make sure I don’t miss a single week with our baby boy! You never know how many you’re going to get when you’re pregnant after loss, so I didn’t know if these would be sad or happy memories in the future, but I wanted to have them either way.